Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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