3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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