You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
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The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize