just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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