I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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