About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
