I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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