The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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