his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
