Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
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I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
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I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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