bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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