in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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