You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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