D3 body, D1 cock
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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