May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
