mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
