I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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