Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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