New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I want to be your penis for a week.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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