its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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