i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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