do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
