I'm so fucking centered right now
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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