it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
