He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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