I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize
