Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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