I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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