life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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