His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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