watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Randomize
