break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he thought i was a dude.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
the liver wants what the liver wants
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
