the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize