Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The Olympian is in my bed
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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