I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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