Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
