im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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