No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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