Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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