He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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