I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
