can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
