the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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