Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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