You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
