Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
