I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
