I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
