i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
