Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
