i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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