Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Boobs speak an international language.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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