I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
