try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He has the fingertips of a God
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