we're blogging at a bar
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
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I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
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You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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