Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
