hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize