The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
