I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
