I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
