I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
