Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
