I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Barsexuality is the new black.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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