he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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