I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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